you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
