Your dad touched me again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
