I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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