He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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