Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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