he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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