Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
