Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
