so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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