i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
