did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
