My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
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Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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