I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
