How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
