Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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