I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
