You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
