Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
