I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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