you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize