He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
