Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
