So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
