I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
