You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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