omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
