she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
