new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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