Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
