and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize