i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
