So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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