Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
