i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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