our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
