have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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