Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
