His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
