I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
