Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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