Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
