it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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