If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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