ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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