hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize