i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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