I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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