it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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