Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
