as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
