Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
