I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
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