you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
