So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
