And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
