Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
