Quick, to the slutcave!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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