my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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