Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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