i barfeds in our rink
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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