I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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