Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
