Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize