Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
