I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
