I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
