You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
